John Travolta and His Facial Expressions are Aquarians

In honor of the premiere of Grease: Live and The People v. O.J. Simpson, it pretty much goes without saying we need to pay tribute to John Travolta. Danny was a hunk in his T-Bird, and he totally rocked that leather jacket. In fact, props to Danny/John Travolta for getting Olivia Newton John in that intense leather bodysuit at the end of the original Grease. 

Anyway, John Travolta is an extremely influential and versatile actor, which makes sense because he's an Aquarius. From playing Vincent in Pulp Fiction to Edna Turnblad in Hairspray, John Travolta has proven he can play just about any role. Also, so can his face.  

Talk about appealing to the masses: that smile and smolder could create world peace

Aquarians are all about being individuals...hence why Travolta is probably the only individual who can pull off this hair style

Travolta works those bangs and that dress better than most people can

Aquarians love being unique. And that facial hair is definitely, um, unique.

But we must never, ever forget this moment

That moment was so much to handle, but Travolta did a great job of bouncing back. Aquarians are always really successful no matter what they do, which is why it needs to be noted that Travolta has a functional airport/runway at his house. Happy Aquarius season, John Travolta! You serve the sign well.

How Capricorn Interprets Valentine's Day

KEEP IT CLASSY.

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IF SINGLE: GLASS OF WINE AT THE DESK.

February 14? How is that any different than February 13 or February 15? You don’t have time for pining, whining, or romanticizing. Where does that take you? Nowhere. You’re trying to make partner, land a new client, finish your script. No need to get distracted by the noise. Today is just another day to you, another obstacle to overcome on the road to the Destination: reaching your professional and personal goals that you set long long ago and have never strayed off course. You don’t need to spend today partaking in Valentine’s Day activities when you know that you’ll have plenty of V-Days to spend with The One when the time comes. That’s all part of the plan.

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IF COUPLED UP: PRIX FIXE MEAL, NO SURPRISES.

Capricorn leaves little to the imagination when it comes to Valentine’s Day plans. You’ve prepared everything months in advance and printed out an itinerary for your date so that there is absolutely zero confusion about what time you are departing your residence to make it to the dinner reservation. And because Cappy planned far in advance for the perfect V-Day, you have the best reservations in town while all your friends are scrambling to find a restaurant that can take their last minute table for two. Five courses, please, with the finest wine and that special gift bae has been hinting at for the past few months. Capricorn doesn’t always splurge, but you know when the time is right to treat your Valentine - and yourself - to something extra special.

How Sagittarius Interprets Valentine's Day

FUN FACTS FOR ALL!

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IF SINGLE: DID YOU KNOW VALENTINE'S DAY IS ROOTED IN PAGAN HISTORY?

Why yearn for the kitschy hearts and flowers when you can feel even more satiated by the knowledge you gain from learning the history and background of this holiday anyway? Love is great and all, but so are your numerous friends, who gladly nod along as you recount how two Roman festivals became the Hallmark holiday we know and sort of love. Oh, and did you know that roughly 3% of pet owners give Valentine’s Day gifts to their pets? Isn’t it interesting that in Finland Valentine’s Day is called Ystävänpäivä, which translates to “Friends Day?" Fuck it, let’s just go to Finland right now! Forget the sappiness of Valentine’s Day or the self-pitying of “Singles Awareness Day.” You don’t feel alone when you have so much information around you to absorb and share, and when you’ll probably find your next great love in the airport terminal to Helsinki.

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IF COUPLED UP: ZOOLANDER 2.

Sagittarius has been quoting Zoolander since it came out fifteen years ago. Damn, was it really that long ago?? Zoolander himself, Mr. Ben Stiller, is a Sagittarius, so it’s really in solidarity that you spend this holiday with him too. Sagittarians tend to be film historians, and the news that Blue Steel will be back on the big screen trumps the trite “expensive candlelit dinner” that others expect from the holiday. Sure, Sag may have to succumb to the candlelit dinner, so long as Sag and boo can spend the entire first two courses comparing the original and the sequel. Did it live up to the hype? Does it remind Sag of this one time six years ago when he was reading about a modeling agency in New York blah blah blah? Remember David Bowie’s cameo in the first one? Nothing gets Sag turned on more than a fun convo, and Zoolander 2 is the perfect Valentine’s Day foreplay for a long night…. of talking.

How Scorpio Interprets Valentine's Day

IT'S A BIG DEAL.

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IF SINGLE: DEATH.

Draw the curtains. On this fated day, the fourteenth of February, it is pure darkness. Only one thing is certain in this life: we are born alone, and we die alone. So leave me be. Valentine’s Day is for the lovers, and I am of the night. I picked up my death shroud from the dry cleaners last week, and posted a very goth selfie in preparation for this macabre holiday. Oh, cruel fate. Why must those Sweetheart candies be so tasty.

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IF COUPLED UP: SEX.

Is that a Valentine’s Day card or are you just happy to see me? Scorpio views Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to reach new sexual heights. The Scorpio lover has been Googling the latest kinky toys and positions for weeks, and on this holiday, the art of seduction is key. For Scorpios in relationships, this is a chance to explore the erotic side of intimacy. Roses and chocolates are nice, but they’re even better when paired with some handcuffs and blindfolds.

How Libra Interprets Valentine's Day

LOOK GOOD, FEEL GOOD.

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IF SINGLE: PUTS TOGETHER VALENTINE's DAY OOTD.

Libras are great at being in relationships, but just because they’re single on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean their scales are off balance. Libras are ruled by Venus, which is the planet of love and looks. So when Libra is short in the romance department, this air sign is all about the attire. The aesthetes of the zodiac are going to take this opportunity to put together that perfect Valentine’s Day look. Maybe it’s about sporting a new pair of sunglasses or an extra stylized hairdo, Valentine’s Day is an opportunity for Libra friends to explore the inherent elegance of this romantic holiday. 

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IF COUPLED UP: "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?"

Libra’s favorite question: “What do you want to do?” This conversation can last hours with Libra. All this air sign wants is a romantic, well-dressed, overpriced night out on the town. But if bae wants to stay in and watch Arrested Development? Libra bites his or her lips and says, “That’s exactly what I was thinking,” all while folding that brand new outfit back into the closet and pulling up Postmates to get that dinner delivery process started. But in true Libra style, even if it’s just a living room V-Day, you will never show up with a bad attitude or a bad outfit.

How Virgo Interprets Valentine's Day

READ BETWEEN THE LINES.

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IF SINGLE: OUTWARDLY BLASÉ, SECRETLY BUILDING CRUSH'S SHRINE.

“I don’t care about Valentine’s Day, anyway,” Virgo repeats leading up to the dreaded day. Virgo has no qualms whatsoever about spending February 14 Netflix and chillin in the company of some Thai takeout. Why get romantic when there’s a new John Oliver episode? But we’re not fooled, Virgo. Your heart aches for that someone special, and you better not be spending this Valentine’s Day blaming your imperfections for your singledom. You’re a literal angel, and whoever that shrine in your closet is for loves you for who you are. Enjoy your takeout, Virgo sweetheart. You're doing just fine.

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IF COUPLED UP: OUTWARDLY CYNICAL, SECRETLY TOUCHED.

So, bae made Valentine’s plans for you guys. In theory, going to a nice candlelit dinner sounds great. In practice, anything that takes you out of the living room is zero chill. So you wear a tight smile during V-Day plans and make a few biting remarks that were meant to be compliments. But a little bit of adventure outside of the comfort zone is a good thing, so remind bae to take those biting remarks with a grain of salt and know that buried not so far underneath is a lot of love, devotion, and appreciation for a romantic Valentine’s Day.